


All That Matters

by nasaflower



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gay Remus Lupin, Gay Sirius Black, Harry Potter - Freeform, M/M, two gay nerds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 21:16:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4364477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nasaflower/pseuds/nasaflower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus Lupin and Sirius Black are too stubborn and too scared to admit their feelings for each other. Here's how they work it out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All That Matters

Remus Lupin passed out in the middle of the corridor. A lump piled on the floor, with lanky limbs sprawled. His mousy hair was a curly mess atop his head. His books had spilled out of his bag, and various volumes of magical text. As Sirius Black strutted around the corner, he caught sight of Remus in a heap on the soft carpeted floor.  
“Remus, what happened?” Sirius crouched down by the 7th year werewolf, and shook his shoulder. “Moony? Are you okay?” Remus stirred slightly, and Sirius brought Remus’s face between his hands. “Did you forget your bloody potion again?” Remus stirred and nodded slightly, and Sirius picked him up with a sigh, carrying him down the hall. “Merlin, Rem, you need to eat more.” Remus limply hung onto him, his head lolling on Sirius’s shoulder. “You’re light as a feather.” Once they reached the Gryffindor common room, Sirius gently set Remus on the couch. Kneeling down by him, he put a hand to his forehead.  
“Hold on, I’ll get some wolfsbane.” Sirius stood, walked over to a cupboard hidden behind a bookcase, and returned with a vial of blue-tinted liquid. He leaned over the boy on the couch, and slowly poured the contents of the bottle into Remus’s open mouth. Sirius could immediately see the boy’s shoulders relax, and he sat down on the floor in front of him. After a moment of hesitation, Sirius reached out and took Remus’s hand. And they stayed like that. That is, until James Potter and Peter Pettigrew walked in.  
“McGonagall is right well furious with you two!” James said as Remus and Sirius quickly pulled their hands apart, a blush rising on Remus’s face. He shook his head to clear his thoughts as James and Peter collapsed on the couch across from him and Sirius.  
“I wouldn’t be surprised if she hexes both of you. Skipping class again, she’ll likely have you expelled.” Peter said.  
“Moony here forgot to take his potion today.” Sirius gestured to Remus. “You can’t do that when the full moon is in 2 days.” The werewolf just shrugged.  
“I was in a hurry this morning.”  
“Likely because you were up reading until four last night.” James said.  
“You all know me so well.” Remus waved his wand quickly, and Sirius heard a tea kettle being prepared upstairs. McGonagall had allowed Remus to bring a stove into their dorm, because he had a monstrous tea addiction. You hardly ever saw him without a cup of tea in his hands or charmed to follow him around. Once his tea was ready, it floated down the stairs into his hands. Looking over his mug, he studied his friends. James sat directly across from Remus. His hair was a dark glorious mess, as always, and his glasses were perched on his slightly freckled nose. He was tall and lanky, and had mischievous hazel eyes. He had a grin on his face, and ran his hand through his hair. He did that quite a lot.  
To his left was Peter, a short and chubby boy. Peter had blonde hair, in a mop on his head, with small, pale blue eyes. He had big teeth, and plump cheeks. Peter was rarely ever a few feet from James, following like he worshipped him. Then, of course, to Remus’s left, was Sirius Black. Sirius had shoulder length black wavy hair, and stunning silver eyes. Sirius was tall, taller than James, but shorter than Remus. He had dark eyeliner around his eyes, and a small smile on his face. Sirius was very handsome, and all the ladies loved him. He was the most comical of the marauders, and was often the one to get in trouble. James and Sirius were more of the leaders of the group.  
And Remus, he was nothing special. He was taller than all the marauders, skinny, and freckled. He had mousy, brown, messy hair, and intelligent green eyes. He always had his nose in a book, and was the levelheaded one of the group. He was there to make sure the boys didn’t get into too much trouble. Of course, Remus still got into plenty of trouble himself. It was a given, hanging out with the others.  
Remus tuned back into the conversation, wherein James and Sirius were debating what would happen if you put a werewolf on the moon.  
“He’d die from lack of oxygen, idiots.” Remus said.  
“We never said we’d send him up there without a spacesuit, you horrible person.” replied Sirius. Remus laughed and shook his head.  
“What did we miss in transfiguration?” asked Remus.  
“Not sure, wasn’t listening. I’m sure it was important though.” James said as he stood up. “We gotta get to Quidditch practice, Padfoot. Let’s go.” Sirius looked at Remus for a second, then stood up and followed James out of the common room. Remus shook his head again and drank the rest of his tea.  
“I have the transfiguration assignment Mcgonagall gave to 7th years.” Peter said as his fished through his bag and handed Remus the papers.  
“Thanks, Wormtail.” Remus said as he headed to the library to start on his homework. 

The full moon came in the next few days, and Remus sat, curled up and trembling on the dusty floor of the shrieking shack. It always was a bit disconcerting after turning, and Remus had to slowly get used to his human body again. He stretched his fingers and toes one by one. A lone stream of moonlight shone through the open, smudged window, the tattered curtains fluttering in the breeze. After the long night of excruciating pain, he could barely move. He heard a whimper and looked up into the grey eyes of a large black dog. Remus managed a grimace/smile as Padfoot curled up beside the pale boy, quietly licking the few new scars Remus had collected. Remus drapped his arm around Padfoot, pulling his warm body closer. Padfoot moved his eyes, like liquid moonlight, onto Remus’s dark face, and Remus quietly lie down and sighed. His eyes drifted closed, eventually.

Remus woke up a hospital bed in the hospital wing of Hogwarts, the sun shining through the open window and the faint smell of antiseptic and lemons. The hospital wing always smelled like this, and so did Madam Pomfrey. Remus rolled over and opened his eyes groggily, and upon seeing that the hospital wing was empty, called for the old woman.  
“Oh, Mr. Lupin, dear. You’re awake.” The bustling woman came over to his bed, straightening his sheets and asking if he needed anything.  
“I’m quite well, Madam Pomfrey, thank you. Has anyone been by?” Remus tried to sit up, but his muscles protested immediately. He sighed and layed back down.  
“Mr. Black has barely left this bedside. Mr. Potter and Mr. Pettigrew have been by too. I believe they are having dinner now, and I would bet you Mr. Black will be up as soon as he is able to.” She smiled at him, and refilled his water.  
“Thank you.” Remus said. He said those words way too much. He was always being taken care of. Madam Pomfrey bustled away and Remus drifted off, the sun shining on his pale face.

Sirius got way too excited when Remus woke up.  
“Moony! You’re awake! Finally. You’ve slept for ages.”  
“And I was planning on sleeping for more.” Remus grunted, and sat up. He was less sore, and reached over to his nightstand and took a drink of water.  
“I brought you something.” Sirius said, and pulled out a chocolate bar from Honeydukes. Remus smiled and took the bar, ripping it open and taking a bite out of it.  
“Thanks, Pads.” he said, with his mouth full of chocolate. Sirius laughed.  
“Where are your manners, Mr. Lupin? How dare you talk with your mouth full.”  
“I’m sorry, but I’m hungry… like the wolf.” Remus grinned as Sirius groaned.  
“That was horrible, Moony. You’re a horrible person who makes horrible puns.”  
“Correction. A horrible person who makes great puns.” Remus said, and Sirius just shook his head.  
“You just keep thinking that, Moons.” Sirius said. “We all know you’re a twat.”  
“I am offended, Sirius Black.”  
“You know you love me.” Sirius winked.  
“Eh, only when you keep your mouth shut.” Remus said, and Sirius gasped.  
“Then you would never hear my gorgeous, deep, sultry voice.” Sirius said, and Remus raised an eyebrow.  
“I would probably have less headaches.” Remus said, and grinned, just as James and Peter entered the room.  
“Moony!” James said. “Welcome back to consciousness!”  
“You didn’t miss anything important.” Peter remarked.  
“No one got eaten by the giant squid? No quidditch accidents?” Remus asked, and James shook his head.  
“A pity. Hogwarts is far too boring. I must go back to my farm house. The country is much more exciting.” Remus said.  
“Oh yes. All the roosters and corn must be so exhilarating.” Sirius said, and they laughed. The four Marauders continued talking until Madam Pomfrey poked her head in.  
“Mr. Potter, Mr. Pettigrew, and Mr. Black. You must go back to your dorms now. It is late and Mr. Lupin needs his rest.” she said sternly.  
“But, Poppy—” started Sirius, but Madam Pomfrey cut him off.  
“No, Mr. Black. Remus will be released tomorrow after breakfast. Do you think you can wait that long?” the old lady said, and Sirius furrowed his eyebrows.  
“Uh, of course.” He shook his head. “Bye, Rem.” He stood up from his chair by the bed and walked out the door with James and Peter, who both bid Remus a goodnight on their way out.

Remus was sitting at a table in the common room working on homework when Sirius and James burst in.  
“Remus! We’re going to quidditch practice, wanna come and watch?” Sirius asked, leaning against the table.  
“I’m in the middle of working on homework.” Remus responded, looking up at Sirius with a quirked eyebrow.  
“You can do your homework on the pitch. You need the fresh air.” Sirius reached out and flicked Remus’s nose. “You’re becoming a homebody.”  
“I’ve always been a homebody, Sirius.”  
“It’s not healthy, Remus. You’ll eventually suffocate if you don’t breath the outside air once and a while.” James piped in.  
“That is absolutely not true.” Remus said, but gathered his papers and stood. Sirius broke into a smile and turned to walk out of the portrait hole behind James, and Remus followed them down to the quidditch pitch.  
When Remus stepped outside, he sucked in a breath. It was a little chilly, and he pulled his jumper tighter around him. It was early September, and the weather had started getting colder. There was only one cloud in the pale sky, and the grass was a dark green color. Remus took his place on the benches as Sirius flashed him a grin before him and James took off into the air. Remus pulled out his homework and a quill, and completed a few assignments before looking up. He could see James, all grins and swift movements, zipping around the pitch and yelling encouragements and motivating quotes. Remus could also see Sirius, flying quickly around the pitch with his beater’s bat held up and ready. His long hair was flying around his face, and Remus caught a glimpse of the grin on his face as he smacked one of the bludgers at an opposing team mate.  
Remus turned back to his papers, but irritably found himself sneaking glances up at Sirius. Eventually, cheeks slightly pink, he put his homework down and turned his full attention to the players. Every once and a while, Sirius would let out a victorious laugh, when he hit one of his team mates or the bludger missed him. Remus wasn’t sure why, but he’d have to fight a smile every time Sirius let out a laugh. Stupid Sirius and his contagious happiness. Remus shook his head.

After about an hour, James dismissed the team. Remus climbed down the bleachers and waited for James and Sirius, as they walked up to him. Sirius slung an arm across Remus’s shoulders, and Remus shoved him off.  
“You’re sweaty.” Remus wrinkled his nose, and Sirius laughed.  
“And you’re freezing.” Sirius grabbed one of Remus’s (admittedly cold) hands between his warm ones. “Why don’t you have a scarf or mittens?”  
“Would you like me to get a blankie too, Mother?” Remus hung onto Sirius’s bicep, looking down at him with large eyes. Sirius smirked.  
“Yes. And it’s your bedtime, Remmy-kins. C’mon, I’ll tuck you in.” Sirius mock cooed, and James chuckled.  
“You two are the cutest.” He said, and both Remus and Sirius looked at him. Remus cleared his throat and let go of Sirius’s arm, a slight pink coloring his cheeks. Sirius assumed it was just the cold.  
“I have been voted the cutest person in school about 7 times, so you’d be correct in that assumption.” Sirius said, and the three started walking back to the school.  
“You would only win if I didn’t run. I’d smoke your ass. I’m the cutest.” Remus said, walking up the steps to the castle.  
“I disagree. I am the absolute cutest. Look at me. I ooze cuteness.” Sirius grinned, and Remus had to stop himself from agreeing.  
“You ooze odd smells and obnoxiousness. You do not ooze anything near cute.” Remus said.  
“You’re just jealous.” Sirius said with a hair flip as they entered the Gryffindor common room.  
“You wish, babe.” Remus said, and walked up the stairs, swaying his hips. Sirius might have looked a little too long as Remus and his very nice butt disappeared into the dorm room. James snorted from across the room, and Sirius looked at him as his face tinted red.  
“What?” Sirius asked as he flopped down on the couch.  
“Nothing.” James said, shrugging. 

 

Sirius couldn’t concentrate on the lesson. Not that he would have anyways, but still. Remus was sitting adjacent to him, taking notes on whatever Mcgonagall was saying. His thin fingers tapped the desk as he wrote, and Sirius tried very very hard not to notice every time he licked his lips or ran a hand through his hair or how the sunlight from the window hits his face perfectly or—  
Sirius thoughts were interrupted when James kicked his shin.  
“What?” Sirius hissed under his breath.  
“Stop staring at Moony and pay attention.” James said, and Sirius scoffed.  
“I wasn’t—”  
“You were.” James said, and Sirius glared.  
“I—”  
“Just pay attention, Pads.” James turned back to his notes, and Sirius tried very hard to listen to Mcgonagall’s lesson. He failed, miserably.

Sirius had known he was gay for a while. Actually, since he was eleven. Actually, since he saw Remus Lupin. A shy, skinny kid with gorgeous green eyes and messy hair and adorable glasses and Sirius was a goner from the moment he laid eyes on him. It got even worse when he talked to him, realized how witty and smart and funny this boy was. Eleven year old Sirius didn’t realize how much these feelings would escalate, how all he’d be thinking about was this green eyed boy for the next six years. And Sirius didn’t plan on confessing anytime soon.  
The marauders knew he was gay. They’d accepted it and hugged him and offered support and Sirius had never felt happier. The school didn’t know. To them he was Sirius Black: Ladies Man, Punk Rocker, Bad Ass. This was almost right. 

Remus knew he was gay from the beginning. He didn’t act on it, but accepted it as a part of him and that it was okay. His parents were supportive, as were the marauders. Remus knew how to deal with it, accept it. One thing he didn’t know how to deal with? His rather large crush on his best friend. Remus didn’t plan on falling for Sirius. It wasn’t his fault that Sirius was so gorgeous with his long hair and silver eyes and his big frickin’ grin and Remus didn’t know what to do. He knew Sirius was gay, but how could someone as gorgeous and confident and amazing every like nerdy, lanky, Remus? They couldn’t. So Remus kept his feelings inside. It was easier that way. It always was.

“Remus?” Lily Evans asked from across the table in the library. Remus looked up into her green eyes. Her red hair fell around her face as she looked at him. He raised an eyebrow.  
“Yeah?”  
“You haven’t turned a page in twenty minutes.” She gestured to the book in Remus’s hands. He looked down, apparently confused.  
“Oh.” He blinked a few times.  
“What’s on your mind?” Lily asked, closing her own book and crossing her arms.  
“Nothing.” Remus said, and Lily shook her head.  
“Wrong answer. C’mon, Rem. What’s up?” Lily said and Remus sighed.  
“It’s nothing.”  
“Who is it?”  
“I never said it was anyone—”  
“It’s Sirius, huh?” Lily said, and Remus’s eyes widened.  
“What?  
“Remus. I see the way you two look at each other. I’m not dumb.” Lily raised her eyebrows as Remus just stared.  
“You… you can’t tell anyone.” He looked, and sounded, defeated. Lily smiled and grabbed his hand across the table.  
“I won’t, Remus. Promise. You want to talk about it?” Remus removed his hand and ran it through his hair.  
“I don’t know. He’s just so perfect and I’m so me…”  
“How long have you… liked him?” Lily asked.  
“So long, Lils. I haven’t told anyone. I don’t think I ever will.”  
“Remus… there’s always a chance he likes you back.” Lily’s eyes were soft. Remus snorted.  
“A very very slim chance.”  
“You never know.” Lily leaned back in her chair.  
“Believe me, I do.” Remus stood up with his things, and walked quickly out of the library.

Professor Slughorn stood up in front of the class, waiting for everyone to quiet down. Remus was sat by Lily, James and Sirius were at the table next to them, and Peter was stuck with a Hufflepuff behind them.  
“Class, today we will be making the Amortentia potion. Does anyone know what that is?” Professor Slughorn asked the class. Beside Remus, Lily’s hand shot up.  
“Its a powerful love potion, sir. The most powerful.” Lily said, and Slughorn nodded.  
“Very good, Miss Evans. The Amortentia potion reflects, with its scent, what, or who, you like or desire. It usually mirrors the smell of someone or something you might love.” A few kids sat up in there seats. “Now, we will be making the potion today, but no one will take it outside of this classroom. It’s very strong, and we can’t have everyone falling all over each other. That would be very messy.” Slughorn said, then gestured to the class. “The ingredients are listed on page 60 of your books. Get going.”  
Remus got out his book and flipped to the respective page. There was a list of ingredients and a picture of a cauldron with a silvery liquid inside. Remus began to prepare the potion.  
After plenty of odd ingredients had been thrown into his cauldron, Remus decided the potion had reached the desired mother-of-pearl sheen and nodded his head. Slowly, he leaned down and took a deep breath. It smelled like peppermint tea, the quidditch pitch, and… Sirius. Remus froze. The whole potion, it reeked of him. The smell of his sandalwood soap and a little bit of smoke and the grass outside the castle and all these smells Remus had become so accustomed to. His face bright red, he snuck a glance over at Sirius.  
He watched as the other boy sniffed his own potion. Remus didn’t see any immediate reaction. Sirius just closed his eyes and sniffed and then shrugged. It didn’t look like he knew who his potion smelled like. Remus let out a breath. At least it wasn’t someone else, if not him.  
“Hey Prongsie, what does yours smell like?” Sirius asked James, and slowly, the dark haired boy turned to Sirius with wide eyes. He shook his head quickly, and Sirius dropped the subject, but not before he noticed James cut a glance over to a certain redhead stirring her potion.  
“What about yours, Padfoot?” James asked, changing the subject.  
“It smells like… honey, old books, and… summer.” Sirius shrugged, and James looked over at Remus, who was stirring his own potion.  
“Interesting.” James mused.  
“What? Why?” Sirius asked, and James waved him off.  
“Nothing, nevermind.” 

After a very festive and spooky dinner in the great hall, the marauders walked back to the Gryffindor common room, laughing and shoving and joking. Sirius had thrown a joking arm around Remus, and the taller boy found himself grinning as they ducked into the slightly-full common room.  
The four boys plopped themselves down on the open couches, in front of the fire. It was  
halloween, and one of the third years had decorated the common room with pumpkins and skulls and orange and purple lights. Sirius had lain his legs across Remus’s lap, and Remus absentmindedly played with his shoelace. All the boys were stuffed from the giant meal they had eaten, because apparently it was festive to eat as much as you possibly could.  
Sirius glanced over at Remus and noticed his eyes were drooping closed. Remus couldn’t blame him. Slowly, more and more kids retired to their beds, and it was just the four marauders in the common room. Sirius tried to fight sleep, maybe thought about going up to his bed a few times, but was just too tired to get up. So his eyes drifted closed too, and him and Remus were asleep on the couch together.  
James, who had fallen asleep stretched out on the couch, jerked awake. He nearly laughed out loud when he looked over at Remus and Sirius. They were both passed out, Remus’s hands around Sirius’s waist and his head in Sirius’s lap and Sirius’s hands were threaded through Remus’s hair and James grinned.  
“Pete, wake up, let’s go up to the dorm.” Peter woke when James shook him and they both walked up to the dorm, leaving the other two boys tangled together on the couch.

Sirius opened his eyes slowly. It was dark, the common room was empty, and Remus… had his arms around him. Sirius noticed with alarm that his hands were in Remus’s hair, Remus’s head was in his lap, he was so warm, and all he could smell was Remus. Remus Remus Remus. He smelled like summer and honey and tea and dusty books and—  
Oh shit. His amortentia. Remus. He knew he’d recognized the smell, he just couldn’t place it. And now Remus was here, asleep on him and smelling like happiness and Sirius frantically stood up, flopping Remus on the couch and looking around quickly before dashing up the stairs.  
“Padfoo’?” Remus asked, confused and half asleep from the couch, and Sirius stopped halfway up the stairs. Remus sat up. “What’s wrong? What happened?” Remus’s hair was a mess and his cheeks were pink and Sirius nearly cried.  
“I— uh… we fell asleep and I… uh— I’m going to bed and—” Sirius face was bright red and he was fidgeting and Remus just raised his eyebrows. With one last frantic look, Sirius darted up the rest of the stairs and was gone.  
What the hell just happened? Remus stood up from the couch. Sirius was acting way weird and Remus was way confused. He’d practically fled. They had fallen asleep on the couch and he’d freaked out…  
Oh. He must have gotten weirded out. Remus had vaguely felt his arms around Sirius. Shit, he’d messed up. He’d let himself get too comfortable and now Sirius thought he was… he didn’t know. Remus ran a shaky hand through his hair and took a deep breath. Slowly, he stood and walked up the stairs to his dorm. Sirius’s bed was quiet as Remus walked past it and got into his own. He fell asleep with the smell of Sirius still on him, and dreamt of long black hair and eyes the size and color of the moon. 

 

James and Sirius were walking back to the castle after quidditch practice, and there was a light frost on the grass as they laughed and jokes.  
“Padfoot, we’re gonna have a blast when we go back for Christmas. I’ve got loads of plans—”  
“Actually, Jamsie, I’m going to be staying this year.” Sirius ran a hand through his hair.  
“Why?” James asked.  
“Well… It’s just… Remus is staying because his parents went on a trip and I don’t want him to be alone and—”  
“Oh. Got it.”  
“Sorry, James.”  
“Don’t worry about it, Pads. You stay and keep your boyfriend company.” Sirius’s eyes widened and James laughed and ran ahead.  
“What—” Sirius yelled after him, but he had already disappeared inside the castle. Sirius sighed and kicked a rock through the wet grass and frowned.

“Sirius, you didn’t get a permission slip to go home for the holidays.” Remus noticed, and Sirius nodded. They were sitting in the common room, at a table, working on homework. “You’re staying?”  
“Yeah.” Sirius said, his cheeks turning slightly pink. “I didn’t want you to be here, alone, on Christmas.” Sirius looked at Remus, green eyes met gray ones. Remus smiled.  
“Oh. Thanks, Pads.” Remus’s cheeks were a little pink too, Sirius noticed.  
“Uh, no problem, Moony. We’ll have a blast without James and Pete. They’re boring, anyway.” Sirius smirked and Remus laughed.  
“We all know I’m the life of the party.” Remus said, and Sirius grinned.  
“Of course, Moons. It ain’t a party until you arrive. With all of your books and nerdiness.” Sirius laughed as Remus smacked his arm.  
“You’d be surprised. I can party hard, if I really want too.”  
“Oh really?” Sirius said, smirking again.  
“I’m an animal.” Remus said, with a straight face.  
“I refuse to believe that. I can’t imagine you, cute little Remus, partying.” Sirius said, and Remus’s cheeks flushed at the word cute.  
“You just wait. Christmas eve. All I need is some firewhiskey.”  
“Well I’m your man.” Sirius winked. “It’s a plan.” Remus looked at him for a few seconds, then laughed.  
“Alright.” 

James and Peter left the next day, and Remus and Sirius sent them off, pretending to be fretting mothers.  
“Now you kids be good alright? Don’t get into any trouble.” Remus said in a high voice.  
“Alright Mum, we’ll be good. I promise.” James said, nodding his head like a little kid out the window.  
“And don’t stay up too late, or eat too much sugar.” Sirius scolded waving a finger at them.  
“No promises on that one!” Peter yelled, grinning out the window of the train, as it started to roll away. Remus grabbed onto Sirius’s arm and put one hand on his chest, pretending to wipe a tear and then waving goodbye to James and Peter. Sirius slung an arm around Remus, giving the appearance of worrying parents. After the train went out of sight, they looked at each other for a split second, and then burst out laughing. Remus was bent over, his hands on his knees, and Sirius was grinning, trying not to laugh but failing. Remus ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up every which way. Sirius had to catch himself and force his eyes to stop staring at the mess of hair and the splattering of freckles across his nose and his collarbone and the way his face crinkled as he laughed and his glinting green eyes. Sirius sighed. He was a mess.

 

Sirius and Remus were walking down the hall after lunch, laughing and talking about nothing. There was only a handful of people who stayed for the holidays, so the hallways were practically empty. The two boys were laughing, and talking, but suddenly Remus stopped. He was trying not to laugh, and serious followed his gaze. There were two students, a sixth year Ravenclaw boy and a fifth year Gryffindor girl, standing under some mistletoe. Sirius smirked. The boy looked angry, and the girl looked absolutely terrified. She knocked on what seemed like invisible glass, but Remus knew it was the mistletoe, not allowing them to leave until they kissed.  
“That sucks.” Sirius said, still laughing as they walked away. Remus agreed as they turned a corner. “I’d be so pissed if I got stuck under one of those things. Just imagine.” Sirius said, and stopped talking and walking as he noticed Remus’s face. He was looking up, his mouth open and eyes wide.  
“I don’t have to imagine.” he mumbled. Sirius followed his gaze up, and scoffed as he saw the mistletoe staring down at them.  
“Oh, oh no.” Sirius said, trying to back up, to get away, to run as far away from Remus’s pink lips as he could. The invisible wall blocked him. He turned his terrified eyes to Remus. He was just quiet, silent, waiting calmly. His eyes were locked on Sirius, and he nearly melted.  
“Sirius, we have to.” Remus shrugged.  
“Couldn’t we—”  
“The only way out of these things is to kiss. You know that.” Remus said, and took a step closer to Sirius. Sirius was pretty sure his heart was going to explode.  
“I…” Sirius started, but Remus was close now and he could feel his breath and his eyes were fluttering closed and Sirius was panicking and Remus was barely an inch away and just as his lips were about to touch Sirius’s, Remus changed direction and placed a kiss on Sirius’s burning cheek. And then Remus was gone, walking away down the hall, hips swinging and Sirius looked up and cursed the mistletoe over and over. Part of it for trapping them in the first place, the other for letting a simple kiss on the cheek pass. Sirius sagged against the wall, running a hand through his hair. He was going insane.

 

The next day was a free day, and Remus and Sirius were insanely bored.  
“Remus…” Sirius whined from the couch, looking up over the back of it at Remus, who was seated at a table.  
“What, Sirius?” Remus looked up from his book.  
“Let’s do something! I’m going to go insane just sitting here.”  
“I am doing something, Padfoot.” Remus said, and turned his attention back to his book.  
“I have an idea!” Sirius yelled, and jumped up from the couch. “Let’s go to Hogsmeade!” Sirius was grinning. Remus was quiet for a second, and then closed his book.  
“Good idea. Plus, we need to get Christmas gifts for everyone when they get back.” Remus said, grabbing his coat. Sirius already had his on, and they climbed out of the portrait hole. It was a short walk, and they were there within ten minutes. Sirius immediately gravitated towards Zonko’s, the joke shop, but Remus held him back.  
“You need to get gifts first, Sirius.” Remus said, dragging him toward the clothing and jewelry shops. Sirius sighed and nodded.  
“I’ll get yours first, then. I’ll meet you in Honeydukes at three?” Sirius asked, and Remus nodded. He watched the black haired boy walk away, down the road, then turned around and walked into the Gladrags Wizardwear.  
After an hour, Remus had gotten a scarf and a miniature broom replica for James, a few treats and a sweater for Peter, a sunflower necklace for Lily, and something for Sirius. It was nearing three, so Remus made his way to Honeydukes, the sweets shop. As he walked in, he was nearly overwhelmed by the delicious smell of chocolate. His mouth immediately started watering. He was looking around at all of the Fizzing Whizzbees, Cauldron Cakes, Chocolate Frogs, and Bertie Bott’s Every Flavoured Beans when Sirius came up behind him, tapping him on the shoulder.  
“Hey, Moons. You get something for everyone?” Sirius asked, reaching out and grabbing a Pumpkin Pasty off a shelf. Remus turned around and faced him.  
“Yep, scarf and mini broom for James, necklace for Lily, sweater and sweets for Pete.”  
“And what about me?”  
“Oh, I didn’t get you anything.” Remus said, and for a few seconds it looked like Sirius believed him. Remus let out a laugh. “What? I can’t tell you. You’ll find out on Christmas.” Sirius groaned.  
“I can’t wait two days! The suspense will kill me!” He clutched his chest dramatically and Remus rolled his eyes.  
“What’d you get me?” Remus asked, poking the other boy’s arm.  
“I can’t tell you! It’s a secret.” Sirius put a hand protectively over his shopping bags, presumably where Remus’s present was hidden.  
“Fine,” Remus said, smiling and walking out of the shop. “I guess I can wait.” Sirius smiled and the two boys started walking back to the castle.  
“Oh!” Sirius gasped, and Remus looked over at him, and stopped walking.  
“What?” Remus asked.  
“I forgot! I convinced Madam Rosmerta to give me these for tomorrow. It’s not Christmas Eve without it.” Sirius grinned as he pulled two bottles of Firewhiskey out of one of his bags. Remus laughed.  
“You convinced her?” He raised an eyebrow, and Sirius smirked.  
“That woman loves me, you know that.”  
“As most women do.”  
“Oh, don’t be jealous, Moony! I’m always and forever yours.” Sirius looked at him with a wide smile and Remus smacked his arm.  
“You wish you were mine, Pads.”  
“Ah, yes, but it can never be.” Sirius said dramatically. “Because… I am too good for you!” Sirius declared, and Remus smacked him again, laughing quietly.  
“You suck.” Remus said, and Sirius laughed and slung an arm around him.  
“You love me.”  
“You wish.” Remus said, laughing.  
Sirius confirmed that in his head. Boy, did he wish.  
The next day was Christmas Eve, and all of the students who stayed were filled with excitement. Remus and Sirius spent the day wrapping presents, (hiding each others,) eating plenty of sweets, and walking around the snowy grounds, laughing and joking. Remus loved christmas, and couldn’t keep the smile off of his face.  
After a large dinner, the two boys made their way back to the common room. There were a few people here and there, but it was mostly empty. Remus seated himself on the couch as Sirius dashed up the stairs, telling Remus to wait. After a minute, the black haired boy came bounding down the stairs with the two bottles of firewhiskey. Remus rolled his eyes, but took one of the bottles anyway.  
After multiple swigs, Remus’s head was feeling pleasantly fuzzy and warm, and he relaxed more into the couch. Sirius was laughing about something Remus said, and Remus could feel his laugh because they were practically leaning on each other, but Sirius went quiet suddenly.  
“Sirius?” Remus asked, turning to face him. “What’s wrong?”  
“I’m out of Firewhiskey.” Sirius said sadly, his head falling. Then he burst into giggles, and Remus did too.  
“Here, have some of mine.” Remus offered his bottle, and Sirius took it gratefully. It was late now, everyone was out of the common room, and the fire had almost gone out. Funnily enough, Remus was still incredibly warm. Sirius’s arm was against his, their thighs pressed together, knees knocking. After a little bit, the boy’s laughs quieted down and Sirius’s head had fallen into Remus’s lap, and Remus’s hands had found their way into Sirius’s hair. Remus barely registered the oddity of this, because Sirius’s hair was so soft and he was right here and warm and Remus didn’t ever want to move. His eyelids were drooping and he was pretty sure Sirius was already asleep, but he realized what people would think if two of the marauders were passed out on the couch on Christmas morning. So Remus slowly unthreaded his long fingers from Sirius’s hair and stood up, carrying Sirius bridal style up the stairs. Sirius’s head lolled against Remus’s chest, and his heart fluttered. Sirius was so beautiful when he slept. Remus had to restrain himself from kissing a freckle under his eye.  
Remus opened the door quietly, and crossed the dark room to Sirius’s bed. He layed Sirius down and covered him with the blankets, but not before taking his shoes off. Then, slowly, Remus pressed a kiss to Sirius’s forehead. He turned around, and walked to his bed, removing his shoes and his shirt, when he heard a mumble.  
“Moons?” Sirius mumbled, and cracked an eye open at Remus across the room. “Come back, it’s cold.” Sirius sounded so pitiful, and Remus slowly crossed the room. It’s not like they haven’t slept in the same bed before. Plenty of nights, all four of the marauders had ended up passed out in James’s bed. Sometimes, on a particularly hard full moon, Sirius would crawl into Remus’s bed, and they would fall asleep to each other’s breath. That was normal for them. Sure, they never told James and Pete, but why would they? But Sirius was here and he was cold and Remus figured they could conserve body heat. Plus, who was there to stop them. James and Peter weren’t here, no one would know, or give them weird looks.  
Remus slowly crawled onto the bed, laying down on Sirius’s right side. He fluffed his pillow, laying down with his back to Sirius. His face was bright red, and he wasn’t sure why. Remus nearly let out a laugh as Sirius poked his shoulder blade, and looked up at him with giant silver eyes when Remus turned around. Sirius then took this opportunity to drape himself across Remus’s chest. Remus let out a little chuckle, and put his arm around Sirius’s already sleeping body. There was a stream of moonlight shining through the window, illuminating Sirius’s face, long eyelashes and pale skin and long, dark hair and a small smile and Remus couldn’t keep the grin off his face. Even if he couldn’t have Sirius in that way, he could still have him like this. His best friend, beautiful and happy and hilarious and his.  
Remus fell asleep with a soft smile on his face. 

 

Sirius woke up in Remus’s arms, and nearly cried. Remus’s hair was a mess, his long arms draped across Sirius, his long eyelashes catching the sun shining through the window, his freckles seemingly darker. He didn’t have a shirt on, Sirius noticed with alarm. His pink lips were cracked open, and Sirius was close enough to feel his breath. Sirius slowly climbed out of the bed and put on some clothes and brushed his teeth, then flicked Remus in the forehead.  
“It’s Christmas, Moony! Get up get up get up!” Sirius yelled, grinning from ear to ear. Remus groaned and stretched, swatting Sirius’s hand.  
“Leave me alone, Padfoot. Christmas doesn’t start until noon.”  
“It is noon, Remus.” Sirius flicked his foot. “Now get up.” Remus groaned dramatically, but sat up and ran a hand through his hair. “Get dressed, make some coffee, and brush your teeth. We’re opening presents.” Sirius pointed to the small pile of presents at the end of each of their beds. Remus smiled, noticing that he had a decent sized pile. He got up and dressed, made a cup of coffee and brushed his teeth like Sirius had told him too. When he walked out of the bathroom, Sirius was sitting on the edge of his bed grinning.  
“Let’s open presents!” Sirius grinned, and Remus rolled his eyes.  
“You are a child.” Remus said, bending over and going through his presents.  
“I’m aware.” Sirius laughed, going through his own. Remus ended up with a mug from his grandma, a sweater from his parents, and a letter saying how much they missed him, a book from James, lots and lots of chocolate from Peter, (he knew him so well,) and a fancy new quill from Lily.  
Sirius got some dung bombs and games of exploding snap from James, a sweater and letter from the Potters, some sweets from Peter (he was very good at gift-giving,) and, big surprise, nothing from his family, but he shrugged it off. He wasn’t expecting anything anyway.  
Sirius reached Remus’s present, and shook his head and laughed as he unwrapped it.  
“I should have known.” Sirius said as he looked at the book in his lap.  
“It’s The Wizard of Oz. Great muggle book. Plus, it’s ironic. You get it? Because we’re wizards and—”  
“I get it, Remus.” Sirius said, grinning. He lifted up the book, and under it was another box. Inside it was a brand new leather jacket. Sirius gasped as he saw it.  
“Holy shit, it’s amazing. You didn’t need to get me this! How much was it? Oh my gosh.” Sirius rambled, all while slipping the jacket onto his shoulders. He laughed as he saw that it said, it big letters, P A D F O O T, across the back.  
“You’re welcome.” Remus said, grinning. Sirius turned to look at him, smiling insanely wide.  
“Thank you so much, Rem. It’s amazing.” Sirius smiled again.  
“No problem, I’d figured you’d like it.”  
“Now open mine.” Sirius said, and Remus picked up a small box, with 3 chocolate bars taped to it. Remus let out a laugh.  
“Good wrapping skills, Pads. I’m impressed.”  
“Shut up and open the box.” Sirius gestured to it, and Remus cracked open the little black box. Inside, on a thin chain, was a gorgeous necklace, with a full moon pendant. Remus let out a little gasp, and pulled out the necklace. It was beautiful, and it caught the light as it hit.  
“Oh, it’s gorgeous. Thank you Sirius.” Remus smiled widely, and Sirius grinned.  
“It’s meant to be ironic, ya know, with the whole werewolf thing—”  
“I get it, Sirius. Thank you.” Remus laughed, and looked at Sirius, locking eyes.  
“No problem. Here.” Sirius walked over to him and held out his hands. Remus handed him the necklace, and Sirius turned Remus and strung the necklace around his neck. Sirius’s fingertips brushed Remus’s neck, and a blush rose on both of the boy’s cheeks.  
“There. Merry Christmas, Remus.” Sirius nearly whispered, and Remus turned around. Suddenly their faces were extremely close and Sirius smelled like coffee and mint and Remus’s heartbeat and brain were doing crazy things. Sirius’s lips were right there, and all Remus would have to do is tilt his head down and they’d be kissing. Remus let that thought run through his mind for a split second, then mentally slapped himself. No. He couldn’t kiss Sirius because there was no way Sirius could love him, and he would ruin everything. One kiss would change everything and he could lose his best friend, and Remus couldn’t risk that.  
Remus stepped away, and Sirius let out a shaky breath.  
“Let’s go get breakfast, yeah?” Remus suggested, and Sirius nodded. On their way out of the common room, Sirius was absolutely sure everyone was noticing his bright red face.

James and Peter came back the next day, along with Lily. After thanks for presents were exchanged, the five, (plus Marlene, Frank, and Alice,) decided to have an epic snowball fight. It had snowed the night before, and everyone was itching to get outside.  
“Alright, here are the teams.” James said, hushing Lily and Marlene and gathering them all around. “Me, Remus, Marlene and Alice, against Sirius, Lily, Peter and Frank.” The groups separated as James spoke. “The only rule: No magic.” James held out his hand. “Wands here.” With a few groans, all the wands were forked over, and James set them to the side.  
“We will have a ten minute head start to build whatever fort or reinforcements we can, and then everything is game. Ready, set, go!” James shouted, and each team got to work on their fort. Sirius was stacking block upon block of snow, and within ten minutes his wall was about three feet high. He grinned and looked over to see the other team’s progress, and he immediately frowned. Remus and James had built a wall nearly five feet high, and were currently making snowball after snowball.  
“Ten minutes!” James yelled, and Frank, Lily and Peter started launching snowballs at the other team. One hit James in the shoulder, and he swore and started throwing snowballs of his own. Remus and Marlene had began moving closer, and Sirius ducked as a ball of ice flew right past his head. He threw one back, and it hit Remus in the arm. He laughed triumphantly, just as one hit the side of his head. He cursed and glared at Remus, who was laughing loudly behind his wall of snow.  
“Lily! We need to retaliate.” Sirius yelled, and gestured for her to come closer. He whispered a short plan in her ear, and she nodded and started moving toward James, throwing snowballs every few steps. Then, she collapsed into the snow, her red hair stark against the white ground.  
“Lily!” James yelled, and dropped the snowball he was about to throw and ran to her side. He leaned over her, brushing the hair out of her face. “Are you okay?” Lily was silent for a moment, eyes closed, and then she brought a handful of snow into James’s face. Laughing loudly, she threw a few more at Marlene and Remus, then ran back to the safety of the fort. Sirius high fived her, laughing between thrown snowballs. James was rubbing at his bright red face, still in the snow between the forts.  
“Frank, Pete, cover me.” Sirius yelled, and grabbed a few snowballs before running across the field. He dodged a few thrown by Marlene, and leaped over James. Sirius was running and running and realized with alarm he was going to hit the other team’s wall. Realizing he’d have to jump, he prepped himself, and when he was close enough, launched himself into the air and leaped over the snowy wall. Remus let out a sound of shock, and then Sirius landed in a roll and was turning around. He threw a few balls of snow at Marlene, and she was hit in the shoulder and went down.  
Sirius whipped around to Remus, a few strands of black hair falling in his face. He grinned as Remus looked for a way out. Remus swore and looked back at Sirius. He was trapped and Sirius was getting closer. He had a very large snowball in his hand, and Remus really wouldn’t appreciate his face being frozen off. Sirius was grinning and it was honestly pretty creepy. So once Sirius was close enough, Remus jumped and tackled him around the middle. The two of them went down into the snow, rolling around and then Remus was on top of Sirius, his knees on either side of his hips and his arms pinning the shorter boys wrists down and Sirius’s long hair was dark against the snow and his cheeks were flushed and Remus couldn’t breathe.  
“I win.” Remus breathed, and Sirius laughed under him. Remus grinned, silver eyes blinked up at him and there were snowflakes in Sirius’s eyelashes. There was a silence, and Remus realized how hard he was breathing and so was Sirius and he was under him and this was going to kill him.  
“Hey, lovebirds! The games’ over!” James shouted, and Remus rolled off Sirius and stood quickly, brushing his clothes off. Sirius stood up, laughing and running a hand through his hair. He picked up some snow and tossed it half-heartedly at Remus, who in turn laughed and smacked his arm.  
“Well that was fun,” said Peter, “but now I think it’s time for hot chocolate.” There were words of agreement, and Sirius put an arm around Remus’s shoulders. He’d been doing that a lot, Remus noticed.  
“For once, I agree with Wormtail. I actually think my ass actually froze off.” Sirius said, and James made some comment about what ass? and received a slap upside the head and a shut up from Sirius. Remus grinned and leaned a bit into Sirius’s side, watching the snow fall down in sheets, already covering their footprints.  
Winter came and went, and before anyone knew it the grass was green and flowers were blossoming. Remus walked across the grounds, glad he didn’t have to wear a sweater anymore. From a distance, he could see the Gryffindor quidditch team zipping around the pitch. Just as he walked up, James dismissed everyone and the team ran for the showers. Sirius grinned and waved at Remus as he ran by, and James slowed to a walk beside him.  
“Hey, Moony.” James said, and Remus smiled.  
“Hey, Prongs, I’m here to snag Sirius. We’re supposed to be studying for potions.” The two walked into the locker room, and Remus was met with a sight of sweaty, shirtless Sirius bending down to pick up his clothes off the floor. Remus’s breath caught as the shirtless boy turned to face them. Sirius looked hot, way too hot, and Remus could feel the blush on his face. His hair was a mess and a few drops of sweat dripped down his chest, and Remus nearly whimpered.  
“Oh, hey Rem. I’ll be done in a second.” Sirius said, and then walked off, swinging his hips as he turned the corner around a wall. Remus let a shaky breath out, and James gave him a look.  
“You’ve got it bad.” James said as he opened his locker. Remus blinked.  
“What?”  
“I’m not even going to pretend I don’t notice you’re head over heels for Padfoot.” James said, and Remus felt his face grow even warmer.  
“I’m not—”  
“Yes, you are.” James said, shaking his head. Remus clamped his mouth shut. After a second, he looked at James with pleading eyes.  
“You can’t tell him, Prongs.” Remus said.  
“Of course I won’t,” James said, closing his locker, “but you need to.”  
“I’m not going to tell him anything. There is no way. He’d never feel the same, anyway.” Remus said, flopping down on a bench. James rolled his eyes and sat down next to him.  
“With the way he acts, I wouldn’t bet against it.”  
“What do you mean?” Remus asked, his eyebrows raised.  
“I’ll let you figure that out for yourself.” James said, smirking and standing up. He walked around the corner to the showers, just as Sirius came back around the corner, wearing a light blue t-shirt and jeans. His hair was still wet, and his cheeks were flushed.  
“Is it that hot in here, Moony? Your face is bright red.” 

 

Sirius was sprawled out on the grounds, his hair dark against the green grass. Remus sat next to him, propped up on his hands and looking down at the open book on his lap. Sirius’s head rested on Remus’s exposed calf, because it was very hot outside and Remus had taken off his sweater and shoes and socks and rolled up his pants. Sirius was only wearing pants and a thin t-shirt.  
“It’s hot out here, Remus.” Sirius whined, looking up at the brown-haired boy.  
“I noticed.” Remus said, not looking up from his book.  
“My hair's too long. You don’t have to worry because your hair is short but mine is long and it makes my neck hot.” Sirius ran a hand through his too-long hair. Remus sighed and closed his book.  
“Do you want me to braid it?”  
“You know how to braid?” Sirius raised his eyebrows.  
“Sure. I used to braid my younger cousin’s hair all the time.” Remus said, setting his hair to the side and sitting cross-legged. He patted the grass in front of him. “Come here.” he said, and Sirius shrugged and moved to sit himself in front of Remus. Immediately, Remus took the dark strands in his hands and brushed it out with his fingertips. Sirius’s hair was soft, and Remus found himself smiling as he braided strand after strand. Remus finished, and Sirius’s braid came to an end just below the top of his spine.  
Sirius grinned as he put both hands on his head and felt his hair. Remus held up a hand meaning wait, and stood up. He walked a few steps, bent over and pulled a small purple flower from the ground. He walked back over to Sirius, who stood up. Remus giggled and placed the flower behind Sirius’s ear, brushing his fingertips to the side of Sirius’s red face.  
“Nice.” Remus remarked, and moved to pick another flower. Soon, Sirius’s whole braid was filled with purple flowers, and both boys were laughing and joking and the sun was beating down on their faces. Remus had tucked his sweater under his head and laid down in the grass, and Sirius had laid his head on Remus’s thigh and closed his eyes. A strand of hair had come loose from the braid and fell across Sirius’s face, and Remus reached over and tucked it back in before closing his own eyes and dreaming of purple flowers and sunshine.

James and Sirius sat across from Peter and Remus at the Gryffindor table in the great hall. Peter was shoveling food into his mouth faster than Remus thought possible, and Sirius kept throwing little pieces of veggies at James. James’s eyes were fixed a few feet down the table, on a certain redhead who was laughing and talking with Marlene and a few other 7th years. Sirius smirked and punched his arm.  
“How’s the pining going, Jamesie?” Sirius asked, plopping a piece of meat into his mouth. James glared at him, then shrugged.  
“Surprisingly well, actually. She hasn’t hexed me in weeks and I could have sworn she smiled at me the other day. But I could ask you the same thing.” Sirius’s eyes widened and James smirked in satisfaction. The messy haired boy pushed the food around on his plate. Remus had the feeling that was the exact reaction James was looking for. Sirius looked down at his food, his face slightly red. After dinner, he grabbed James’s hair and dragged him out of the great hall.  
“What was that?” Sirius asked angrily, cornering James against a wall.  
“A test.”  
“What?” Sirius asked, backing up a step.  
“I had to judge your reaction.” James said, smirking. “Sirius, you are hopelessly in love with Remus and it’s plainly obvious.” Sirius froze. He didn’t blink, didn’t breathe. He just stared at James, who shrugged.  
“How did you even—”  
“It’s okay, Sirius. Just tell him already.” James said, and Sirius scoffed.“Oh, definitely. I’ll do that right now. Be right back, going to tell my best friend I’m in love with him.” Sirius said sarcastically, and then his face fell. “Oh no. Oh no no no. I’m in love with him. Remus. I’m in love with Remus oh no oh no no oh—” Sirius tangled his hands in his hair and closed his eyes. James put a hand on his shaking shoulder.  
“James, I can’t be in love with him.” Sirius said, looking up, pleading with James to make this go away.  
“But you are.”  
“He’s going to hate me.”  
“Remus could never hate you.”  
“I’m going to ruin everything and it will never be the same because I love him and best friends aren’t supposed to love each other like that and he’s going to think I’m insane and he’s going to hate me.” Sirius rambled, sagging against the wall and sliding down until he was sitting on the worn carpeted floor of the corridor. James squatted down beside him, putting one hand on the wall, and the other on Sirius’s shoulder.  
“Padfoot. Remus won’t hate you. The best thing you could do in this situation, I think, is tell him. You never know what could happen.”  
“Exactly. I can’t risk it, James.” Sirius shook his head and stood up, walking away, down the empty corridor. James sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. His stupid best friends were so in love with each other, but were too damn stubborn to admit it. Why did everything difficult happen to him? 

Remus walked through the empty corridor on his way to potions class, and as he was walking Lily fell in step beside him.  
“Hey, Remus.” Lily said, smiling.  
“Hey, Lils.” Remus said, and he held the door open for her as they entered the dungeons. Slughorn nodded at them both as they took their seats next to each other, and a minute later he stood up and addressed the class, and then they got to work. Remus was humming quietly, tapping the desk as he and Lily worked on their potions. He glanced over at James and Sirius, and smiled softly. Sirius had a look of concentration on his face as he chopped up some herbs, he furrowed his brow and chewed on his lip. He stopped slicing as he ran a hand through his hair, and looked up at Remus. The brown-haired boy blushed and looked down at his hands, quickly busying himself with counting out a few porcupine quills. His cheeks were red, and as he snuck another quick glance at Sirius, he noticed his face was too.  
Lily snorted beside him.  
“What?” Remus asked, picking up a snake’s fang and dropping it into the cauldron.  
“Just tell him.”  
“Not a chance.”  
“Remus. Don’t be a child. I’m going to go insane if you two keep ignoring this.”  
“I’m not ignoring it. I think about it nearly every second. I’m just not confessing.” Remus added a few horned slugs to the mixture.  
“When you were going to tell the marauders about your ‘Furry Little Problem’, how did you feel?” Lily asked, and Remus shrugged.  
“Nervous, terrified, and worried they’d hate me. Why?”  
“And when you think about telling Sirius, how do you feel?” Lily asked, and Remus ran a hand through his hair.  
“About the same.”  
“Now, think about how you felt after you told them.”  
“I was relieved, like a million pounds had been lifted off my shoulders.” Remus said, sort of defeatedly. He knew where this was going.  
“Rem. That’s exactly how you’ll feel when you tell him, I’m betting a million galleons.” Lily said, placing a hand on his shoulder. Remus sighed, looking down.  
“What if he doesn’t love me back?” He said, meeting Lily’s eyes. They widened at the word love, but then she smiled.  
“What if he does?” Lily turned back to her potion, leaving Remus with his thoughts. 

The marauders and Lily were hanging out in the common room, the fire roaring and laughs echoing off the walls. James and Lily were next to each other on the couch, sitting suspiciously close, but Remus decided he’d let it slide. Sirius had made a bet with him that Lily would fall for James by the end of seventh year, and Sirius was dangerously close to winning that bet. Lily, of course, denied it, but Remus could see through her just as clearly as she could see through him.  
Pete was spread out on the floor, eating a biscuit and twirling his wand through his fingers. Sirius was sat next to Remus, laughing and telling jokes with James and Lily. Remus decided to ignore the fact that they were sitting closer than James and Lily. They are on a smaller couch. That’s why. Remus told himself. Why else would Sirius sit so close to him.  
“Well, I think I’m going to go down to the library for a bit.” Lily said, standing up. She paused by the portrait hole. “James, you want to come?” she bit her lip, and James looked startled. But he nodded and followed her out, running a hand through his hair.  
“Shit, I think you might end up winning this bet.” Remus said to Sirius, who grinned.  
“Of course I’ll win. Lily’s got it as bad as… “ Sirius said, but his face paled. “Uh, James. And that’s saying something.” Sirius laughed, and Remus wondered who Sirius was originally going to compare Lily to. His questions were forgotten with Sirius’s dazzling laugh and grin.  
Pretty soon, Pete went to bed and left Remus and Sirius alone on the couch. They had lapsed into silence, besides Sirius humming some Beatles song. The fire was crackling and the light of it shone on Sirius’s features. His silver eyes looked over at Remus every once and a while, then he’d give a little smile and turn his attention back to the fire. Remus admired his profile out of the corner of his eye.  
What if he doesn’t love me back?  
What if he does?  
Remus ran a hand through his hair. He could tell him, right here, right now. Sirius, I’m in love with you. I have been for quite some time. Then Sirius would look at him. Those swirling eyes would fixate on Remus and he would break. No matter what Sirius’s response would be, Remus couldn’t take it. His, their friendship would be ruined either way.  
“I think I’m gonna head to bed.” Sirius said, standing up and stretching his arms above his head. His shirt rode up, and Remus couldn’t help himself from staring at the bit of skin above Sirius’s waistband. Sirius ran a hand through his hair and started climbing the stairs.  
“Sirius, wait.” Remus said, and Sirius stopped near the top, looking down over the banister at Remus, small on the couch. His dark hair fell around his face, and Remus couldn’t help but think he looked beautiful. I love you. “Nevermind, goodnight.” Sirius smiled.  
“Goodnight, Moony.” And then he was up the stairs and the dorm room was closing and Remus wasn’t sure if he was relieved he was gone or missing him already. 

The full moon was approaching, and as Remus sat down at the gryffindor table for breakfast, Sirius noticed he looked pale and tired. Remus picked at his food, and Sirius threw him worried glances. About halfway through the meal, Peter laughed at something James said and choked on his food, which got a very loud laugh from James and Sirius, and Sirius was shocked when Remus flinched beside him.  
“Rem? What’s wrong?” Sirius asked, grabbing onto his arm. Remus grimaced and turned to Sirius.  
“Headache.” Remus said, his green eyes slipping closed and his head dipping.  
“C’mon. You need rest.” Sirius slung an arm around Remus and stood, dragging the sickly boy up with him. “I’m taking Remus to the dorms. Let Mcgonagall know in class.” Sirius said to James, who nodded, and then Sirius and Remus walked out of the great hall. Remus leaned against Sirius’s side as they walked down the corridor, and Sirius nearly had to carry him up a few flights of stairs.  
“I’ll let one of the house elves know to get you some soup.” Sirius said as he helped Remus through the portrait hole.  
“Thanks, Siri.” Remus said, without opening his eyes. Sirius helped him up the stairs and kicked the dorm door open. He laid Remus down on Sirius’s bed, tucking the blanket around him. Remus mumbled something about the moon and his head, and Sirius smiled and pressed a light kiss to his forehead. Sirius squeezed his cold hand and then walked across the room, closing the curtains and sinking into a chair to watch over Remus.  
It was about an hour before he woke, sitting up and looking around confusedly.  
“What time is it?”  
“About 10.” Sirius said, walking over to the bed and sitting on the end. “You’ve been asleep for about an hour, but I figured you needed the rest.” Sirius smiled at him, and Remus smiled back.  
“Sorry about this. You didn’t have to wait for me, you could have gone to class.”  
“And listen to Mcgonagall waffle on about spells? No thanks, I was good here.” Sirius said, laughing. Remus smiled, and then winced. Sirius’s face immediately turned to a look of concern, and his eyes searched Remus’s face.  
“Are you okay?” He asked the werewolf, and Remus laughed bitterly.  
“Just bloody done with this whole ‘werewolf’ thing. I hate this and the moon and I hate causing my friends and family grief and it’s painful and I hate this whole damn thing and I hate the moon.” Remus blurted, and then shook his head and closed his eyes. A few pieces of hair fell onto his pale face.  
“Remus. You shouldn’t associate the moon with your ‘furry little problem’. The moon is beautiful and shining and bright, like you. It should remind you of yourself.” Sirius said, pointing to the moon pendant around Remus’s neck. “Your lycanthropy is not you. You are you. Remus. My Remus, who likes books and chocolate and tea and making me mad. You’re good at that, by the way.” Sirius said, and Remus let out a small laugh. His cheeks were slightly pink.  
“That’s my job, Padfoot.” Remus said, teasing, but Sirius recognized the thank you in his green, shining eyes. 

“Why can’t I have all of the knowledge in the world? Then I wouldn’t be sitting right here doing transfiguration homework.” Pete complained, laying his head down on his open book.  
The marauders and Lily were all placed in the library, studying for various classes. Remus and Sirius were sitting next to each other at the table, and Pete was across from them. James and Lily were on the floor, books spread around them.  
“Hey Moony, what’s the answer to question 6?” James asked from the floor.  
“Answer D.” Remus answered, turning a page in his own book.  
“D is always the answer.” Sirius said, and Remus laughed, covering his mouth with his hand.  
“Yes, it is. Not a question that can’t be answered with dick.” Remus said, grinning.  
“It might be the solution to everything.” Sirius leaned back in his chair, wiggling his eyebrows at Remus, who winked back.  
“You two are both gay as hell, we get it.” Peter said from across the table, and they all burst into giggles, Sirius’s cheeks slightly pink.

“We have to end this.” Lily said to James as they left the library, who raised his eyebrows.  
“End what?”  
“Remus and Sirius. I’m done with those two. The endless flirting and angst is killing me.”  
“Tell me about it.” James said, sighing. “We need to get them together.”  
“How?” Lily said, rolling her eyes. “They’re hopeless.”  
“How about we lock them in a broom closet?” Peter said from behind them, and James faced him.  
“You know, Wormtail, that could actually work.” James said, raising his eyebrows. “We’d just have to put a simple spell on the closet to keep them in.”  
“But how would we get them in the closet?” Lily asked.  
“They never leave each other’s side, it can’t be that difficult to get them in the same place.” Pete said, and James nodded.  
“Wait, I have an idea.” Lily said, grinning, and whispering to James and Pete, who grinned right back.  
These gay losers weren’t going to expect it.

Remus and Sirius were sitting on the couches when James walked into the common room.  
“Hey guys! So I got Madam Rosmerta to get me a few bottles of firewhiskey!” James said, sitting down by Sirius, who grinned.  
“Yes! Party tonight.”  
“But I was walking down the corridor and Mcgonagall came out of nowhere. I panicked and hid them in a broom closet near the transfiguration classroom. Can you guys go grab the bottles, there’s six bottles, so both of you will need to go.” James said, quirking an eyebrow.  
“Yeah, we’ll go.” Sirius said, pulling Remus up from the couch.  
“Perfect. I’m gonna go talk to Lily, I think she got some games of exploding snap.” James said, climbing out of the portrait hole after Remus and Sirius, who started towards the transfiguration classroom.  
“I bet you, if we’re all drunk tonight, James and Lily will get together.” Sirius said, laughing as they walked down the hall.  
“You willing to put money on that?” Remus said, looking at Sirius and smiling.  
“Oh yeah. It’s gonna happen.” The boys passed the classroom and turned the corner, and in front of them was the closet. Remus pulled the door open, and pulled a confused face.  
“Where’s the firewhiskey? There’s nothing in here.” Remus said, and Sirius peeked his head in to look.  
“James must have told us it was in the wrong closet or something.” Sirius said, shrugging. And before he could turn around, hands were on his and Remus’s back and they were being pushed into the closet.  
“What the f—” Remus exclaimed, and then the door was slamming shut and he could hear someone casting a spell on the other side.  
“Hey!” Sirius yelled, knocking on the door. “Let us out!”  
“No problem. After you two sort some things out.” James said, from the other side, and Sirius frowned.  
“James? You planned this? You’ve got to be kidding me.”  
“We’re done with the love eyes. Confess, and you’ll be let out.” Lily said, and Remus scoffed.  
“Lily? Oh, I’m going to kill both of you when we get out.” Remus said, clenching his fists and trying the doorknob.  
“Wormtail helped too.” James said, and Sirius heard Pete laugh.  
“So we’re not telling them the charm deactivates in an hour?” James whispered to Lily, and she grinned.  
“Nah.” Lily said, and then there were three sets of footsteps walking away and Remus and Sirius were alone. In a closet. In the dark.  
“Uh.” Sirius said, intelligently.  
“Lumos.” Remus muttered, and his wand lit up Sirius’s face. It was bright red. They were very close, less than a foot between them, and Remus could feel Sirius’s breath and see the illuminated swirls of silver in his eyes.  
“I am going to kill them.” Sirius mumbled.  
“I’ll help you, gladly.” Remus said, laughing bitterly.  
“How are we supposed to get out?” Sirius asked, and Remus’s tinged red.  
“I say we wait it out. They’ll have to get us out of here sometime.” Remus said, and Sirius opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it again. Sirius looked around them, and graciously found a bucket on a shelf. He flipped it over and sat on it, and Remus sat on the ground.  
“So.” Remus said, and Sirius let out a little laugh.  
“How long do you think we’ll be in here?” Sirius asked, and Remus shrugged.  
“I’m really disappointed there was no firewhiskey.” Remus said, and Sirius laughed and nodded.  
“I’d take the bottle and smash it over James’s head.” Sirius said, rolling his eyes. They talked for a while, the dark lit up by Remus’s wand and Sirius’s smile.  
“Aw, shit. My legs are asleep.” Sirius said, groaning and standing up. Remus let out a laugh as Sirius nearly collapsed. Remus stood up and stretched his own legs, as much as he could in the limited amount of space. He straightened his back, and yelped as his head hit a shelf.  
“OW!” Remus yelled, and pitched forward, holding his head with one hand and trying to find a wall to balance him with his other hand because his wand had went dark.  
He didn’t find a wall.  
His hand hit Sirius and the other boy let out a gasp as they both fell, Sirius landing on top of Remus as he pulled him down. Remus’s breath was knocked out of him, and Sirius’s head nearly knocked into his.  
“Ow.” Remus wheezed, and Sirius frowned down at him.  
“Are you okay?” He asked, not moving at all. Their faces were inches apart.  
“Yeah.” Remus said, his eyes wide. There was a silence, and Remus could feel his heart beating against his ribcage. He could also feel Sirius’s heart, and it was doing the exact same thing. Two birds fluttering together, trying to escape their cages. Sirius’s hair was falling around his face, his eyes shining like liquid moonlight. And his lips.  
Without consent, Remus’s eyes cut down to Sirius’s pink, open mouth, only for a second. Then they were back on Sirius’s wide eyes. Both boys were breathing hard and Remus’s head was throbbing but he didn’t care. Sirius had leaned a little closer, and Remus could feel his breath and every nerve on his body was tingling and—  
Click.  
Sirius was up and off of Remus in a fraction of a second. Remus scrambled up just in time for the door to swing open and light to flood in and illuminate both of their red faces.  
“Mr. Lupin, Mr. Black, what are you doing?” said Mcgonagall, her eyebrows sky high as she looked at Remus and Sirius, red faces and rumpled clothes and breathing hard.  
“It’s not what it looks like, Professor.” Remus said, running a hand through his hair. “I know it looks bad, but James, Lily and Peter locked us in there and we’ve been stuck for an hour and I hit my head on a shelf and we fell and—”  
“Yes, well, please, in the future, remember that you are a wizard and you could have unlocked the door with a spell, believe it or not. Do I teach you students for nothing?” Mcgonagall said, throwing up her arms and walking off. Remus let out a breath and looked at Sirius, who smiled a little and then looked away.  
“Let’s go kill them, shall we?” Remus offered, and Sirius laughed and nodded.  
“Yes, please.” 

Remus woke up with three people piled on top of him.  
“HAPPY BIRTHDAY REMUS!” chorused James, Sirius and Peter, shaking the bed.  
“Get off.” Remus mumbled into his pillow, and James laughed.  
“Get up! It’s your birthday!” Peter said cheerfully.  
“I’m well aware of that, and I can’t bloody get up if you three are on top of me.” Remus said, and the three boys laughed but climbed off him. Remus sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes.  
Remus got up groggily and walked to the bathroom, combing his hair and brushing his teeth, then he walked out into the dorm where the three boys were waiting.  
“Right then, can we go to breakfast?” Remus asked, and the boys shook their heads.  
“First, presents.” James said, pulling a wrapped box out from behind his back. He handed it to Remus, who sat on the edge of his bed and began opening it.  
Not surprisingly, he got books and chocolate from James and a scarf and more chocolate from Peter. Sirius thanked both boys, and looked to Sirius, whose face went a little pink.  
“I’ll… uh— give you your present later.” Sirius scratched his neck, and then laughed. “Can you be that patient, Moony?”  
“Yeah, sure.” Remus said, smiling. “Let’s go get breakfast, I’m starving.” He walked down the stairs of the dorms, and the other boys followed.  
Remus went through his classes smiling, and saying thank you to whoever wished him a happy birthday. Lily had cornered him in the corridor and hugged him, giving him a sweater and (surprise) some chocolate. Remus had grinned, told her thanks and hugged her again before parting to his next class.  
After their classes, the boys and Lily hung out in the common room, laughing and joking and smiling, sprawled out among the couches and streamers Peter had put up.  
After a while, James grinned and stood up. “I feel like some quidditch. Padfoot, Moony? You up for it?”  
“I think I’m good.” Sirius said, giving James a look, who quirked an eyebrow and nodded.  
“I’ll stay too. It’s warm in here.” Remus said, and James shrugged.  
“Alright. Wormtail, you coming?” James said, and Peter nodded. “Hey Evans, I bet I can beat your arse.” James, and and Lily laughed. “Oh please, get ready to be crushed, Potter.” Lily said, standing up. The three of them left the common room, leaving Remus and Sirius alone.  
“Why didn’t you go with them, Pads?” Remus asked, sitting up and looking over at Sirius on the other couch.  
“I have to give you your present.” Sirius said grinning. “Hold on.” He ran up the stairs, and Remus laughed and waited for him. “Close your eyes!” Sirius yelled from up the stairs, and Remus obliged. “Are they closed?”  
“Yes!” Remus yelled up, and then he could hear Sirius’s footsteps on the stairs. Remus kept his eyes closed as Sirius set his present on the table, and even when music started playing. 

I got chills  
They’re multiplying  
and I’m losing control

“You can open your eyes, Rem.” Sirius said from across the room, and Remus cracked his eyes open and stood. Sirius stood grinning beside the table, where a brand new record player sat. Remus grinned and walked over to it, running a hand along the surface.  
“Oh my gosh, this is just like the one I have at home. Thank you, Sirius!” Remus said, turning around and smiling at him.  
“It’s a magic one,” Sirius said. “Any song you want, it’ll play.” Remus laughed. He couldn’t keep the grin off of his face. 

If you’re filled  
with affection  
You’re too shy to convey.

“Thank you, Sirius.” Remus said, and Sirius grinned.  
“You’re welcome, Rem.” Sirius said, and another song started.

Hey Jude, don’t make it bad  
Take a sad song,  
and make it better.

Remus smiled. “I love this song.” He said, and Sirius smirked and held out his hand dramatically.  
“Would you like to dance, Remus?” He said, looking up into Remus’s laughing face.  
“Why yes, Sir Sirius, I would love to dance.” Remus said, taking his hand. 

Hey Jude, don’t be afraid  
You were made to  
go out and get her.

One of Remus’s hands was on Sirius’s hip, the other clasped in his hand. Sirius’s hand was on his shoulder, their faces slightly pink but laughing as they danced along to The Beatles, and then the next song started. 

You and I must make a pact,  
we must bring salvation back.  
Where there is love, I’ll be there.

Remus and Sirius spun around the empty common room, grinning stupidly and laughing and stepping on each other feet, but neither of them cared. They were here, they were happy, and that’s all that mattered.

Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter  
Togetherness, well that’s all I’m after  
Whenever you need me,  
I’ll be there.

“Did you choose these songs?” Remus whispered, closing his eyes and swaying along to the music.  
“No. I guess it’s playing on it’s own.” Sirius replied, just as the next one started.

Can anybody find me somebody to love?  
Each morning I get up I die a little,  
can barely stand up on my feet.

They spun around, Sirius’s eyes sliver pools and Remus’s startlingly green and they’re faces red and both of them aware someone could walk in at any second, but that didn’t matter.

Lord, somebody, somebody  
can anybody find me  
somebody to love.

“Happy birthday, Remus.” Sirius whispered, a small smile on his face. The next song started up.

Here comes the sun  
Here comes the sun  
and I say, it’s alright.

Sirius looked up into Remus’s green, wide eyes, and didn’t look away. 

Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces  
Little darling, it seems like years since it’s been here.

Remus could feel Sirius’s breath, could feel his heartbeat against his own chest. Slowly, Remus dropped his gaze to Sirius’s lips, only for a moment.

Little darling, I feel that ice is slowly melting  
Little darling, it feels like years since it’s been clear.

Remus tilted his head down, taking in a shaky breath. Their lips were less than an inch apart. 

Sun, sun sun  
here it comes.

“I—” Sirius backed away just as the song ended. He shook his head, his heart nearly beating out of his chest. “I’m going to— I’m going to bed. Happy birthday, Remus. I’ll see you tomorrow…” Sirius stuttered, turning around and starting to walk towards the stairs.  
“Sirius… wait.” Remus said, and he grabbed Sirius’s arm before he could walk away. Sirius turned around, looking down at Remus’s hand around his wrist, and then Remus’s hands were on his face and Remus’s lips were on Sirius’s, pressing and insistent and soft. Sirius’s heart was freaking out and so was Remus’s, their chests pressed against each other as Remus wove his hands into Sirius’s hair and Sirius’s hands pressed to Remus’s back, pulling him closer. Their lips glided over each other, and then Sirius’s mouth opened under Remus’s.  
Sirius broke away.  
His eyes were wide and his mouth open as he stumbled away from Remus, his hands shaking.  
“Uh— I—” Sirius stuttered, and then shook his head, mumbling a ‘Sorry’ as he ran out of the room, through the portrait hole.  
Remus’s shoulders sagged as he let out a shaky breath and cursed. Sirius’s face… Remus had ruined everything. Slowly, he reached down and closed the record player, flinching as it clicked shut.

James wasn’t sure who he was expecting to burst out of the common room, but it wasn’t a frantic, shaking Sirius near tears.  
“Sirius, what—” James said as Sirius barreled past him and Lily, nearly running. He and Lily looked at each other, and then James looked back to Sirius.  
“I’ll go after him. Stay here.” James told Lily, who nodded, and then he was running down the hall after Sirius.  
“Padfoot!” James yelled, grabbing Sirius’s arm and pulling him to a stop in the hallway. “What the bloody hell happened? What’s wrong?” Sirius closed his eyes and shook his head, leaning against the wall.  
“I—he..” Sirius slid down the wall and sat on the floor, hugging his knees. He was staring straight ahead. “Remus… we— he kissed me…” Sirius said, and James’s eyes widened.  
“...Oh. And you freaked out?” James asked, and Sirius nodded slowly. “What did you say after he kissed you?”  
“I… nothing. I ran out.” Sirius said, and James cursed.  
“You idiot. Remus is going to flip out. He probably thinks you hate him.”  
“What? Why would he think that?”  
“Sirius, you need to go talk to him. Let him know he hasn’t ruined anything.”  
“I can’t… I—”  
“Sirius. Man the hell up and go tell him you love him. He needs to know.”  
“I can’t be sure that he loves me too.”  
“Sirius, he literally just kissed you. You can’t seriously think he doesn’t like you.” James said, offering a hand to Sirius, who took it and stood up. “Go tell him, Padfoot.” James pointed down the hall, and Sirius nodded slowly and started walking back toward the Gryffindor common room.

Remus wasn’t there. Or in the dorms, or the great hall. Sirius was panicking, frantically looking everywhere.  
Oh.  
Of course. This was Remus. Sirius nearly laughed and took off down the hall toward the library.  
“Madam Pince! Have you seen Remus?” Sirius asked the librarian.  
“Mr. Black, be quiet!” Madam Pince hissed.  
“Sorry. Have you seen Remus?” Sirius whispered, and Madam Pince nodded.  
“He walked in a few minutes ago.” Sirius thanked her and ran through the library, frantically searching for a certain tall, brown haired boy.  
“Remus!” Sirius said when he caught sight of him, and he walked over to Remus, who had his face in a book. He looked surprised, and closed the book and stood up.  
“Sirius. Listen, I’m sorry about what I did. I got carried away and I’m aware I ruined everything and it won’t happen again—”  
“What?” Sirius said, and Remus stopped. “Remus, no. No no no no no.” Sirius ran a hand through his hair. “Remus, don’t be sorry. I— I actually…” Sirius said, and then paused. Remus stayed quiet, waiting.  
“I, actually, am in love with you.”  
“You…” Remus just stared at him. His jaw had dropped. “You idiot.”  
“What?” Sirius said, worried. Then Remus let out a laugh.  
“Siri, I’ve loved you for the longest time.” Remus said, taking a step closer and pressing his lips to Sirius’s. His hands tangled in Sirius’s hair and their tongues were pressing and they were breathing hard. Remus was in Sirius’s arms and kissing him and this was all that mattered. Sirius was like lightning, bright and electric, startling and flashing. A light in the storm, and now Remus was tasting this electricity and he could feel it on his lips and everywhere Sirius’s fingertips brushed his skin and Remus’s lips were tingling and on fire and this was going to kill him.  
This time, Sirius didn’t pull away. Not for a very, very long time.

**Author's Note:**

> Songs:
> 
> You're the One That I Want by John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John  
> Hey Jude by The Beatles  
> I'll be There by The Jackson 5  
> Somebody to Love by Queen  
> Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles
> 
> This is basically the first fanfic I've written, so any kudos would help! I had too much fun writing this so I hope you enjoyed my two gay babies being cute.


End file.
